I am keeping my favorite American cartoon up here at this location. Below, there are links for other samples, featuring some cartoons in archive rotation. Meanwhile, enjoy the TRUTH about "American DemoGops".
This first cartoon (above) on this webpage is an ASNCA award winner. I call it "The Muggers". (If you are not familiar with USA iconography), the "donkey" is the symbol for Democrat Party, the "elephant" is the symbol for Republicans. It is useful to assure my Romanian friends that in the USA, things are much the same as Russia: Most politicians are just out to get as much "baksheesh" as they can collect. The politicians that achieve greatness are rare. Romania is fortunate; since I have been living here (5 years), they have had 3 whom (I feel) are genuinely motivated to improve Romanian life: Ciorbea, Isarescu and Nastase. But in all countries, fewer politicians in recent history ask challenging questions like: "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country" (John F. Kennedy). Most politicians are just asking themselves: "What can I do to you, the citizen; or simply, what can I do for myself?" Greed and selfishness are their motives, not genuine social or economic development. In this respect, and in terms of the real scorecard (deeds), there is very little difference between most USA Democrats and Republicans. The manipulative leaders among the political parties try to create the illusion there is a great difference between them, by using phony issues like "abortion" to create "hot" and "emotionally charged allegiances". But all they succeed in doing is tearing society apart, inciting neighbors to hatred against neighbors. Taking that same example, the real truth is that abortion is an "antiquated" issue. It is false. No longer can a government pass edicts about it, because women are smart enough (smarter, usually) to realize a secret logic: RU486 proves that "abortion" is archaic. RU486 works by simply over-hormoning the body. Smart, educated women all over the world know this. They take ten day's supply of birth control pills at once, and within hours, they just "aborted" (they also avoided the expense and hazard of a French drug). There is nothing any lawyer, policeman, (or Republican fundamentalist) can do about using birth control pills that way. But still, until this is common knowledge, they will whip fundamentalist Republicans into a self-flagellating religious frenzy over the issue, just to create illusions the parties are significantly different. They will tell the puritan, "Your wife has the power to kill babies". Then, the Democrats say to their constituents, "Those Republican bastards want to take away your power to control your own genitals, keep the women imprisoned at home, like the Taliban". The "issue" is a total lie. The government can no longer control abortion. It has no effect at all, except the minor detail of deciding to publicly fund it (or not). Both parties entertain an equal fraud, and an equal moral crime by perpetrating this rote pretense. Why? Because they have taken a great nation, and made enemies of its citizens, preventing neighbors from dealing with the real threats to their communities: drugs, crime, political corruption, and deteriorating educational institutions. Government lies always create victims. Always. The Republican fundamentalist who is missing a few cards from his deck will grab a shotgun, go to an abortion clinic, and shoot a nurse, a doctor, or a mother because he buys the phony "pro-life" propoganda. The logical inconsistency is obvious to anyone: "Pro-life"? Then why the hell did you just kill 3 people? For God? Is he pleased now? Aha! I see, he just told you, yes, using a dog as a vehicle for the message? Sorry, God is not pleased, you are not playing on His team, you are on the visitor's team.... the one with the horns. The other side says: "OK, I am pregnant, and the state says I have "no choice" in the matter. Then, the state just "married" me. The state is now the father. The state must pay all the bills for this child, and its education, and reimburse me for my lost career." If the government could trap someone that way, it would be sound reasoning. But it is not. No woman anywhere can be denied access to birth control pills, so there is no denial of abortion. Just denial of true dialogue, true debate, on issues that really matter, like terrorism. With such con-jobs as abortion, or "who gives the president a blow job" dominating national news for years, no wonder America was totally unprepared for the real threat: Fundamentalists (ALL of them, Christian, Jewish, and Muslim extremists/literalists are equally deviant, hateful, and dangerous). Who the president screws is none of my business, nor yours, unless, perhaps it is a child or a foreign agent. Those are the only moral exclusions to privacy in this topic. To pretend anything else matters about the president's bedroom, mandates mediocrity and ignorance, because you will never find a smart man willing to subject himself to such "public proctology". The results of such absurd scrutiny will always be generic, ineffective leadership, as we have now, in office. Consider the most recent cowboy quote: "Wanted, dead or alive, Osama Bin Laden". The president of the United States is the supreme defender of the Constitution. He has sworn to uphold that document, its law, and its legal process, above all else. So to stand before a camera with a grin on his face, and utter some hip-hop college-flunkie, Bonanza-land, cowboy phrase like that is despicably ignorant. Osama is the suspected ring-leader in a vast conspiracy responsible for America's greatest crime. To suggest we should kill him "as well as, or instead of" apprehending and trying him (to assure we have all the guilty parties) is just another crime. It would forfeit courts and justice, just to get retribution. A fundamentalist notion. Just as defective as Osama's reasoning. The same childishness that denied us the catharsis of a trial for Kennedy or Oswald's murderers. If there is one wisdom to consider about America, it is this: Whenever someone wants to kill an "alleged murderer" instead of apprehending the "suspect", both men become "suspects". This holds true in America for all cases, without exception, from John Wilkes Booth forward. It has created the greatest moral apocrypha: Justice denied. When justice is denied, there is no public catharsis. When there is no catharsis, the public fills the void with speculation, conjecture, and it all becomes "mythology". Truth often hurts, usually is harder to believe than its opposite, but is always the best medicine, especially in today's convoluted world.
This is all opinion, but that is what editorial cartoons have always been. Remember, this page, (and the Editorial Page in the USA newspapers that publish my drawings), are places just for opinions. This is like a personal diary that has secret public access. In all other areas of life and scholarly pursuit, we must separate opinion from facts. Therefore, I never take these opinions into my other work, nor discuss them in public. They do not belong there, just here, where the intent and purpose to present opinion has fairly been identified!
I wrote this caution here because I often lose a new friend after they read these pages. But if they let my private opinion enrage them, they never were friends at all. Friends accept a difference of opinion, and only tyrants object to it. They should, instead ask themselves: "How could he have such opinions, and I not know it until I read this?" The answer is, because I know there is a time and place for opinion, and it must always be sought by the respondent, never given without consent. Opinions require some form of social contract, and courtesy. Presenting opinions on the Editorial page is appropriate. Presenting opinions (disguised as news) on the news page is a moral and social crime. Yet more and more "news agencies" like FOX are doing just that. This amounts to propoganda. Manipulation. A dark trend that creates prejudice instead of informing.
My favorite quote is: "Life is a state of mind". Here, you have crossed the border into OpinionLand, and you must display tolerance, or be deported :) The old Libertarian proverb applies: this is voluntary art and literature centuries old in tradition; this is non-physical assault, if you object, you must leave, because the effects are only in its proximity. This journey is voluntary. Nobody can force you to read or view this page, so objecting to its content is objecting to free speech. Editorial drawings are valuable phenomena. They have destroyed fraud for over 2 millennia in various forms. The earliest known samples are Roman graffiti. In the past 400 years, it has developed sophistication and great acquired great political, cultural and sociological importance. Thomas Nast's (true meaning of the word "nasty"*) cartoons single-handedly destroyed "Tammany Hall", and freed the citizens of New York, (even the nation, since national office is where Tammany's mobster-politicians were headed). Only the frauds and liars fear words and pens. Wisdom, balance, a sense of humor, and especially tolerance are required to appreciate the angry pen. I am an American, but my parents were German. If German or English were being required in Romanian schools by a small minority (such as Germans and Americans) in Romania, at the expense of all Romanians, I would be opposed to the unfairness. Reverse the situation, if Romanian were required in American schools, which Americans would be happy to pay the cost? My ancestors went to America to become citizens, and when they did, they learned English. Otherwise, I would be ashamed of their arrogance. Life is full of paradox and inequity, but everybody knows what is really fair. One of my German ancestors was killed here in a plane, defending Romanian oil fields of Ploieste from Americans. I have relatives who fought on both sides of that war. Curiously, my sentiments about that are torn. As both an American, and a German, I admire that pilot, because he was a draftee, not a Nazi, and was just doing what he had no choice not to do: his duty with bravery and honor. But I despise all Nazis, past or present. If that pilot had been a party member, I would have nothing good to say about him at all. Only a coward accepts duty he knows to be evil. It takes courage to say "no, this is wrong, and I won't do it no matter what the penalty". Fascism has many faces, but usually begins disguised as Nationalism. Nationalism eventually becomes Fascism. Fascism is by nature, intolerant, and always practices economic and humanitarian oppression which evolves to become genocide. Everyone has some dilemma of allegiances, but what is right and wrong is always truly clear to everyone. Even those who knowingly violate community values and common sense for greed, gain, or political fraud. Cartoonists are just trying to tell you when we see the Emperor has no clothes on, or when the emperor "has a swastika in his pocket". Sometimes, when you are bombarded with opinions "disguised as news", it can be very difficult to see the simplest truth! The truth is very important today, because it is so easy to conceal and distort using mass media. As a soldier, I have seen bodies heaped in ditches, slaughtered by all brands of Nationalism. It is always sad, always complicated, but there is one thing I know for sure: it is always wrong. American and Serbian genocide is no different than 3rd Reich genocide. The bodies are equally human, they all smell the same, and were all slaughtered because of their beliefs. Difference of religious or political beliefs are a poor excuse for murder. This is the bottom line. History demonstrates that tyrants and despots must always be attacked by the pen when they are developing, or they eventually fill the ditches with bodies once they have overwhelmed their culture and become immune to criticism. In this new world of terrorism, truth and tolerance are the only salvation. There are nearly 2 billion Muslims on this planet. Only slightly more Christians, and scarcely 14 million Jews. Each is an important, valid metaphysical system, and has goodness in its (mainstream) applications. Contrary to what most culturally ignorant people presume (after September 11th), the Muslim religion is quite warm, sensible and loving. In fact, word-for-word, the Koran is far less violent in content than either Christianity or Judaism's scriptures. The Koran is far more tolerant of other religions than The Bible or Talmud. Peace is the Koran's main premise, and the true objective of most of its mainstream adherents. I have spent a lot of time among Moslems and Jews. I trust (mainstream) Moslems, in some ways, more than any other religion. The Koran tells a very good story, and those who REALLY follow it are honest, loving people with a great sense of compassion and humanity. It is the extremists in all religions (like Jimmy Swaggart, Pat Buchanan, Pat Robertson, Ottoman colonialists, and Osama Bin Laden) that get all the attention, and "bruise" the global metaphysics. There has to be some dialogue , tolerance, and understanding between religions. We need a "UN of religious leaders", who can assemble to find "God's many tolerant common denominators", instead of manipulating the interpretive differences. We must also prosecute the religious leader who bastardizes his religion, and manipulates his naive youth for purposes of hate or destruction. Suicide, assassination, and murder pleases no God. Everybody knows that is true. Those who advocate any form of "destruction in the name of God" can only be working for the devil. Whether it is by injection, aircraft, bomb, or bullet; "murder is murder". Revolutionaries, religious leaders, mullahs, rabbis, or priests who seek out the innocent and naive to "re-educate" into "lemmings" (or "human suicidal cruise missiles") are evil cowards. They are brainwashing their students for the devil's needs, not Allah's. Society must hold the "spiritual teacher" accountable, above all others, for the crimes that result. It is the only possible solution to terrorism. Society must also prosecute the corrupt politician, fascist, racist, or "Enron thief" with equal vigor. The ultimate enemy of world peace, freedom, harmony, and prosperity are the leaders whom corrupt our institutions. Those are the "targets" of all my editorial drawings. Those are the traditional target of cartoonists since Thomas Nast.
Still reading? Have that much courage and tolerance? Congratulations. I have a syndicate of USA newspaper subscribers, but no European subscribers yet. I would very much like to have a European or Romanian newspaper/periodical affiliate to run my caricatures/editorial drawings locally. If you are interested, please contact me! I have English, Romanian, and German samples I can show you. If you would like to order a caricature of yourself, or a caricature of a colleague as a gift, click here for details on "custom ordering a portrait-caricature" by e-mail or visit my gallery of "finer art" after you view these cartoons. Now, more artwork samples, and more rude opinions:
THE BAD NEWS FIRST: The entire U.S. cabinet is shamefully inadequate for the current epic disaster.
Fainting chickencaca Click here to see what President George Bush was doing for 12 hours, on September 11th, while New York burned. A very candid picture aboard Air Force One. Be forewarned, this drawing needs a bit of courage. Speaking of which, what about Bush family Bravery? There is only one Bush with combat "experience", and it was laughable. Former president George Herbert Walker Bush (Sr.) was a Navy torpedo bomber pilot. In his first and only combat, he was shot down over the Pacific by Japanese gunners. According to his peers, he became very "skittish" about any "further contacts" with "Japs". He ditched his plane into the Pacific ocean so many times after that, he holds the record for "sinking his own airplane". Even as President, he was so scared of the Japanese, that he vomited, uncontrollably at his first state dinner in Japan, painting the Jap Prime Minister's tuxedo with green bile. He then passed out (runs in the family, like fainting goats) George Sr. never returned to the island. He did manage to sink the American economy deeper than all those planes, for which the American people fired him, in 1992. Sick Joke (BACKGROUND: non-Americans need to know as governor, George Bush Jr. "proudly", even "gleefully" executed more people than any governor in history). Colon Click here to see the most dangerous fascist on the U.S. cabinet. This guy has issued himself battle medals for doing a desk job in Nam, where he over-reported the body count and helped sell the lies that kept the G.E. party rolling. Later, he learned how to sell stinger missiles to the Ayatollah Khoemini, who gave him slush money to hire assassins in central America. He learned this kind of radical thought in his first presidential staff job, as a Daddy Bush/Mo-Ron Reagan cabinet case. Now he is running for president himself, every day, and owns controlling interest in AOL/Time/Warner to make sure he gets good press. Be careful, America. Never forget this man is making every decision based on his future, not ours ! Colon Powell owns so much AOL and Time Warner/CNN stock, that he made over 4 million dollars in profit the day they merged. He only has to report the "profit" from that deal to the IRS, not the total value, but just imagine how much stock it takes to generate that dividend overnight. Now, here is another fact: Powell's son Michael, is a FCC commissioner (guess how he got that job?). Michael was the only commissioner at the FCC who advocated letting the AOL-Time Warner/CNN deal "go through without ANY scrutiny". President Bush recently named Michael Powell chairman of the FCC. The agency will soon consider whether to allow AOL to keep its monopoly on the "instant messaging" technology it developed for the Internet. This is the same General Colon Powell who sold the highest tech US Stinger missiles to the Hostage-holding Iranians and Sadaam Hussein, to get money to "protect America" by murdering over 300,000 priests, nuns, and children in Nicaragua, El Salvador, and Chile, when Powell worked for George Bush's scum bag daddy. All while Powell, Bush and Ollie North arranged for the poor Iran hostages to remain an extra 4 months for the elections. Just "collateral damage", they would say. Like the WTC victims who could all still be alive (and the building still standing) if those 20 minutes between planes had been used for scrambling interceptors somewhere besides Washington DC. What are the defense priorities of America? Save the beltway instead of the rest of the country? Engineers now say without the second plane, the WTC would still be standing. Certainly one tower, at least if not both! I know you will be skeptical about all this new Colon Powell stuff, so here is a link , Go check it out for yourself. As a Secretary of State, this man is grossly underqualified. A desk cowboy in Nam, who tallied up abstract bodies, using phony integers in a phony war. He was the straight man who introduced Stormin' Norman (the only real hero of either war) at the press conferences. But what experience does Powell have in diplomacy? None whatsoever. His only previous "international" experience is in selling missiles to the Ayatollah Khomeini, to get money to hire assassins in Central America. All illegal. So his only "experience" is felonious. We need a real player for this war, and this president-wanna-be aint it.
War Pig Click here to see the second most dangerous fascist on the U.S. cabinet. This idiot has actually ordered a study to determine the viability of nuclear weapons in Afghanistan. He learned this kind of radical thought in his first presidential staff job, as a Daddy Bush/Mo-Ron Reagan cabinet case, where he helped his pal, Colon sell arms to the Iranians, and introduced Nancy to the astrologer who ended up running America for 8 years. Brilliant decision-making strategy. Is there a Doctor Strangelove in the house?
Rise, CondoSleeza! Click here to see the most incompetent fascist on the U.S. cabinet, the ultimate breathing illustration of the Peter Principle. This woman rose to the top way too fast, and after letting the USA get pummeled by airplanes for 30 minutes without a single defensive response, she created a new cabinet post to off-load all the NSA duties and responsibilities she had neglected.
Voodoo Click here to see what the new economic plan is, for America. It will be explained by the Bush Administration's new supply-side spokesman, Herr Doktor Deep Doo-Doo.
Aggie Click here to see what the new Attorney General's plan is, for America. It will be explained by the Bush Administration's new Seville-rights barber, John Asscrosser.
Missing Click here to see what the new vice president looks like. You may have forgotten, since nobody has seen much of him lately, except Haliburton and his long-term consulting clients, the Japs. I am not sure if he is hiding from the terrorists, or the Securities and Exchange Commission (which has discovered vast criminal evidence against him in both the Enron and Haliburton fraud). Regardless, I think Tricky Dick knows what I know: He is headed for a "mid-term deletion" just like Spiro Agnew. PRISON. I will be everywhere, in the upcoming election, to see that it happens. When George Jr's daddy gets his long-deserved prison sentence, him and Dick can play checkers.
THE GOOD: Tough Tony There isn't much good in the War against terror. Only two candidates rise above the rotten stench of deep Doo-Doo. Click here to see one of them, the brave new soul who has taken Bush under his wing, given him a bit of history and leadership OJT. This guy knows who Rudyard Kipling is, what lessons he tells about what Afghanistan can do to a naive nation. Tony has nonetheless stood up against it all, with bravery and exemplary diplomatic strategy. Bravo! Kudos! Thank God America still has one good friend left, willing and capable of carrying the burdens of freedom!
Abdul Haq Like I said, there isn't much good in the War against terror. This great man was the best hope Afghanistan had for new stability. I met this fellow back in the 80s. We could have trusted him to the bitter end. Unfortunately, he shouldn't have trusted us. Abdul Haq was recently killed, and we can thank George Junior's ignorance for that. Identifying Haq as a U.S.-courted ally was the kiss of death. On a recent trip to Afghanistan (sent by George Bush/Robert McFarlane), the Taliban beheaded Haq as soon as he crossed the border. It appears they were forewarned of his arrival (they claimed the call came from the White House!). This is a typical Bush way of getting rid of enemies. Haq was certain to win the presidency of a new Afghanistan, and he was opposed to ANY heroin production. Put those pieces together, considering most of the Afghan drug lords are ex-CIA, it shouldn't be too difficult. NOTE: This drawing is currently being revised. George Bush Junior's first known betrayal and execution as president will come on line for July 4th.
THE UGLY: (be forewarned, the Ugly deserves the ugliest treatment, and I am very pissed off about all 4 of these people, so these next 4 drawings have VERY rude language and content)
Osama and Butthead Click here to see Osama and his right hand man: fundamentalist freak Ayman al-Zawahiri. They are drawn in the "Bevis-and-Butthead" style, "taking some liberties" with "live pork on the hoof". Bottom line: Any delusional who thinks killing 5000 innocent people can please ANY god, (especially one so loving and merciful as Allah, defined by the Koran) is sick. Satan awaits the pleasure of torturing his soul with Allah's blessings and gratitude (He would never defile Himself by punishing such disgusting pond slime). Like all fundamentalists (Oral Roberts, Jerry Fallwell, Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart are America's curse in kind) these kind of people should be ostracized by their community, and certainly given no media voice whatsoever. There is no room in a sane, peaceful world community for such impotent, hateful, socially-deviant, neurotic, cowardly, misogynist scum.
Vote-Shredder Jeb Bush, The Connecticut Carpetbagger (Note: Full screen, non-scrolling view requires 800x600/SVGA monitor or larger) Last among the ugly, just because you need to be shocked by Osama's ugliness FIRST, to prepare for even more Jeb's vile face. Here is the dumbest American president's brother. No, not the criminal felonious asshole (Neil) who started the whole S & L crash by stealing money for the Bush family business pals (like that freak, Sun Myung Moon). The OTHER criminal asshole freak who stole all the votes in Florida. Well, Jeb, the election is coming up, and you are at bat -along with that ugly whore accomplice of yours, KKK-Kathy (see her caricature below, she is even uglier than Tammy Faye Bakker). Anyway, The UK betting parlors (and some Vegas ones as well) are giving 2-1 odds that you and that sleazebag Harris BOTH get your ass kicked in November. Seems the people of Florida, left and right, all agree their vote counts, even if you don't. So this time, you will not have so slight an edge to even ask for a recount. I will personally be passing out T-shirts and Bush-League Brochures with these cartoons, to do my part to sabotage your re-election. Anyone wanting to do a press version, I have (cleaner language) higher-resolution versions of Jeb and KKK-Kathy available. Contact me. BTW, since the felonious president of the United States and his inept "intelligence agencies" (Not very, I mean. With 6 months warning, they still sat there and watched the second plane hit?) have decided my site (and my free speech) is to be censored. It all gets eaten by "Carnivore, somewhere in the east coast. Now you know what Daddy Bush's Carnivore and Echelon Program were REALLY for, don't you? Violating my constitutional rights (yours are next). So you should contact eff.org or epic.org to file a complaint or get more info, if you care about this. Like Germany in 1933, this is the time to speak up. Soon, the Bush mob will silence all mouths, like they did JFK and Allende.
Bubba just announced a "hit" on Hussein (OK, he is crazy, but so is bubba). This violates a Federal law, made just for his daddy's assassination war crimes.
Catherine Harris, 2nd ugliest woman in America: This is another "previous nobody". A Secretary of State in Florida named Catherine Harris rewrote the election codes for her pals, Jeb and George (she was a top election campaign manager for the Bush Mob, major conflict of interest). Her idea of counting votes goes like this: Well, you get the picture. This woman is now the GOP Pinup Girl. That used to be Tammy Faye Bakker, but Tammy can't afford as much mascara as Kathy. (I think Kathy's face weighs 2 kilos more, after she has painted it!) Graceless Bitch Click here to see the only female Nazi I ever saw on TV. I always enjoyed Larry King's show, but lately, he has had this hateful Pit-Bull Dyke Bitch on quite often, and has even allowed her to host the show in his absence. She is so damned anti-everything, so negative, so nihilistic, so ruthlessly ugly (inside AND out) that I can't watch the show anymore! Jeez, my dog even barked at her whenever she was on the screen! I never imagined there could be such a thing as bad electronic pheremones, but this creature has them, and even dumb beasts respond negatively. In the entire planet, only Tammy Faye Bakker and Kathy Harris exceed her esthetic repulsion powers. Well, just take a look at the caricature, you will see what I mean! Ugh!
Venus on the Halfshell Click here to see "Queen Michael of Romania -Dancing the night away while Rome burns". This website is full of my caricatures, but this is unique -it is a CARICATURE of a CARICATURE; Michael Guest is SUPPOSED to be the United States Ambassador to Romania. That is, he is supposed to represent America here. Jeez, what a bad rap we got on our representative. Like a cross between Gertrude Stein, Gloria Steinem, and Garp -on steroids.
QUESTION: What is the difference between George Bush Jr. and a mass murderer?
ANSWER: Most mass murderers have MUCH higher IQs.
1. IF it is a Democrat ballot, it must have a hole.
2. IF it is a Republican ballot you can hire a clairvoyant to determine "intent".
3. It is OK for Bush to hand-count Seminole County, using Texas Clairvoyance strategies.
4. But nobody can touch Palm Beach ballots....
Vietnam: Click here to see what lessons the Americans learned by losing the war in Viet Nam, and how they "re-won" that war in 1995 (coming to your Euro-neighborhood soon!) Milosevic: a prophetic 1992 award winning cartoon about deposed Slobodan Milosevic.
Pat Buchanan: America's version of Milosevic. Ran for president (again? sigh) I call him "Pat Buchenwald" because if he is ever elected, he will burn more Mexicans and Canadians than Hitler burned Jews. Pat is just a shameful little Nazi. The only Americans who will ever vote for him have a basement full of guns, dehydrated food, and wear white sheets to their "social events".
Bush Jr.See how much of a "gentleman" George bush Jr. is. A real lady killer! He called his female opponent a "drug addict" because she has won a ten year long battle against alcohol, without a relapse. A great heroic lady, and (unlike George, whose accomplishments are as insignificant as his experience) she was a great governor of Texas with over 15 years state office service (Anne Richards). Curiously, weeks after the election, we discover Bubba Bush is a convicted drunk driver, a reformed (supposedly?) alcoholic, smoked marijuana heavily for years, and even used cocaine. (see animation below, at the bottom of the page). His political party, that supposedly fights for "state's rights" took an election away from the people and gave it to the Supreme Court. Now, George wants to destroy another deep and sensible American tradition: Separation of church and state. If George ever really read any books, he would know that religious freedom was the biggest reason for the American revolution. Americans wanted to be free to speak and worship as they pleased (or please not to). Those are the primary requisites of true freedom. In George's born-again-brain-dead democracy, you must be a Baptist to be right, empowered, or employed. No wonder the fanatic Muslim fundamentalists (mainstream Muslims are great folks) have reacted in rage to this pious, racist, hypocrite, and turned their anger towards the USA. Not that I blame America for the attack, but I do believe it provoked it, with racism, intolerance, poor diplomacy, and missed opportunities to intercept the plans. The entire intelligence community was too busy intercepting good citizens' e-mail to do its job, and the law enforcement community was as usual, entirely selfish with its data. No coordination whatsoever.
Kenneth Starr: Yeah, I hear you: "Who is Kenneth Starr?" NOBODY. That is what history will recall. But he is the jerk who was assigned to look into Whitewater, and after finding nothing there, he decided to kidnap Monica Lewinski (a felony) and scour the private life of a president. In a more civilized society, like UK, neither the press nor prosecutors would follow a public official into the bathroom or bedroom. I show limpo voyeur-pervert Kenneth Starr here, from his true scatological vantage point, where he will be most remembered! If America had not wasted 3 years exploring the identifying features of a president's genitals, we would have been better prepared for September 11th, and possibly even intervened, to stop it. FDR, one of America's greatest presidents, and best strategist, had his Lucy; Dwight Eisenhower had Kim Summersby to keep him warm at the "Bulge"; and JFK had a whole slew of charms to play with while his wife happily avoided what she found so unpleasant. Who cared? Nobody. As long as we were not getting screwed, who cares who the president is screwing? To concern yourself otherwise is at best, voyeuristic, and at worst, mandates that future presidents will be as sexually (and mentally) dead as Ron Raygunz.
"Contract ON America": "The greatest Scams of the 20th Century" "Scam" means "to con, lie, cheat, steal". These are the greatest scams of the 20th century, like selling the Golden Gate bridge, pretending Ronald Reagan EVER knew his own name, pretending that George Bush Sr.'s CIA looks out for US interests, instead of its own "business profit", . . . The Republican (GOP) "Contract" for Term Limits, a Balanced Budget Amendment, and many other scams. (the GOP broke its contract, of course. That is why we FIRED daddy Bush after only 1 term). But surprise, George Bush Senior is back in office, on his son's coat tails! What George Bush Sr. really stands for: Bush Sr. is the US Constitution -(and the entire world's) worst enemy. His son is as dumb as Reagan, and just as incapable of making a decision. But you can't say that about daddy. . . He is a world-class schemer. And daddy's "dark agenda" will be the real priority now that his foot is back in the White House. Clear the military out of Europe, -totally abandon the Balkans, where scholars know the first world war started. War is good fun for all of Bush's War Machine business chums. Relocate all the military to South America, where the real Bush family "funny business" is: Drugs!. Murder will reappear in Central America -Catholic Genocide will be revived, elected leaders will be assassinated worldwide, and the streets of all countries will again be flooded with CIA drugs (just like America is already, from corner to corner). Then we will let a few fires start here in the Balkans, there in Afghanistan, and have another five year GE-Boeing tank, plane and gun-running party. Big Business, Bush-mob style. Considering how much Zapata Oil and the Bush family in general had to do with misguiding interests in Viet Nam, it can be said that "a Bush" has started every war since Korea. It is not just a coincidence. There is an underlying business and profit motive.
So after all that commentary, it is interesting to note that most people assume I am a "Democrat" rather than a "Republican". But I am neither. In fact, I resent both parties, and feel they are the VERY reason America does not "work" anymore. I am certainly more disenchanted with Republicans, because there is a fundamentalist movement in the American GOP party that is no less dangerous than the "Taliban". It believes in EXACTLY the same principles, regarding women. The prevailing stone-age attitude of American fundamentalist Republicans towards women is EXACTLY the same as the Taliban's, every bit as retarded and misogynistic: "Women should not be educated, politically empowered, free, nor employed". But I have spent enough time in communist countries to know they do not "work" either, so I resent the Democratic party's tendency to lean that way. European Socialism, closely imitating FDR's style of "kinder government" works best, in my opinion. But that sensible model is only advanced by the Democratic party's far right wing. If that fringe element would abandon their party, and form their own, they could re-create a bold new America that would be able to survive the new millennium. But in my opinion, this won't happen. And barring such a party revolution, I feel the day the Supreme court elected a president, in 2000, America died. They can wave all the flags they want, and do George Cohan tap dances until hell freezes over, and it won't revive anything. America's greatest shame was that it trusted its people less than any existing western democracy, so it instituted the "electoral college". Now, what little effect the people had, in electing the most powerful office holder is gone forever. So is my respect for the office, and the court that just filled it. If I am ever to appear before the Supreme Court of the United States (doubtful, but if) I would never stand UP before them (when they say, "Here ye, here ye, all rise", it is considered an act of respect), no matter what the penalty is. I refuse. They do not merit Jefferson's respect, and they will not have mine, either. They have only my utmost contempt. Well, the 5 of them who ruled in favor of the coup, anyway.
The DOJ Microsoft suit? Kiss it goodbye. Among president Bush's cabinet, two members were supported by Microsoft throughout their career, but got millions just before the election. Unfortunately for justice, the attorney general, John Ashcroft is the largest recipient of Bill Gates' bribes, followed closely by Anthony Principi. But also, several "slush funding parties" were thrown by Microsoft for Bush, Powell, Ashcroft, and rickety old VP Cheney ("Mr. consultant for Japan", who obtained both his Lexus automobiles for his illegal sellout-the-USA services, in violation of every U.S. "conflict of interest" law). None of the Microsoft parties had to be reported under current guidelines, nor does its receipts have the limits imposed by direct donations. Pure, free CREEP money. If you want to look at Bush's campaign specs, here is the link although it's not as interesting. He is too damned dumb to make money like Powell does (and he doesn't know how to get control of a network). But that's OK. Powell will use it for his pal's benefit, -until it's time to run against him (watch, that phony desk cowboy is going for the office in 2004, himself). With AOL/CNN's help, Powell will dunk his boss. He has no loyalties. Ask New York. Did you see any F16s on all those shameful videotapes, when there were over 30 minutes available for interception? If Colon wins, we will have to listen to all his Haitian sweat shop stories again. And how he set up a million dollar foundation for black kids, to use the money for whistle-stop campaigning instead. It will be a very boring administration, until he needs another war for re-election.
Isn't the world you think it is, is it?
If you collect cartoons, my originals are for sale. All are drawn in ink on museum-certified acid free 8.5 x 11 card stock, stamped with a full-size embossed 3D seal, and therefore cannot be counterfeited (as most published editorial cartoon collectibles are). Newer drawings, made during the past 5 years are on A4, which is about 8.25 inches by 11.6 inches. The newest drawings ("The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" series, above) are all done in European A3 format, or approximately 11.6 inches by 16.5 inches. Let me know if you are interested in any of these. Also, if you read this entire page, and still consider me "morally compatible", I consider you a worthy open-minded soul suitable for possessing my better work. Please visit my secret gallery and see if there is anything there you would like to buy. George Jr. (and all/any of his friends) need not apply: I do not sell to Nazis, rapists, assassins, terrorists, or drug dealers (and that eliminates the entire, current administrative cabinet, their friends, family, associates, and their dogs).
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rights reserved by artist. No part of this document may be removed from the whole, altered or reproduced in any medium. Any use of these images except single person, on-line use is illegal. Let me make that very clear: if you send this page to your printer and show the print or display it to anyone else, or if you open the page from disk cache or save to a disk, and show that to anyone else, you have committed a crime. You have distributed a reproduction of my images. Use of a single copyrighted image under new Federal and International law is a CRIMINAL offense, and carries a minimum fine of $3,000. I aggressively seek judgments and obtain money from anyone who "steals" or "borrows" my image "creations". I have an automatic gopher process program that goes out and searches the web for my stolen art, and since I made the files, trust that there are id's inside the JPEGs that make that an easy task. So if you are looking for PICTs to rip off and put on your page, better look somewhere else. PS: There are no exceptions to the intellectual property law, not even for "Echelon" or other sick government agencies. Precedent even disallows intellectual property theft for evidentiary purposes. So, go ahead, . . . make my day! . . print it out! Go forth and multiply it, I accept tax fund penalties even from deviant Federal agencies, no problem.
* Don't believe that Ezra Pound and Old English/Latin crap you get in the American Heritage Dictionary. Pure Apocrypha. The word was never used with a "y/ie" at the end, until Nast.
SchlossApple Logos, all cartoons herein, and the "Just say No" animation property/Copyright: danasaur 1989, 1990, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001.
Perhaps you better get some real news. Murdoch's E-Sleaze is known as FOX "news" in the USA, and SKY "news" in U.K. Either way, it is a synthesis of Josef Goebbels and Leni Riefenstahl -on steroids. Every hick, criminal, and two-bit huckster in America is eligible for a job at FOX. Their star "embedded reporter" in Iraq was arrested for stealing paintings, -and smuggling. That was typical criminal behavior at sleazy FOX "news". Newt Gingrich is Rupert's "Political anal-ist and beltway "reporter". Newt was tossed out of Congress for fraud, and should be sued for the biggest contract scam ever created by any con-man: "The Contract For America". This was a con job Newt devised in 1984-90, whereby he promised the American people he would balance the budget and pass term limits, IF the American people would elect him (and his gang of yuppie-Nazi-brownshirts) to Congress. Newt was a slick "family value" advocate who preached "Taliban-style family life", with the mother super-glued to the mop and stove. Meanwhile, Newt philandered with a mistress, ran off with another one, then totally abandoned his wife and kids (Newt flew from coast-to-coast while they starved). Some family man. What a reporter. Perfect Choice for Rupert. Then, take FOX' "military anal-ist and reporter", Ollie "Pinocchio" North (please, take him! Osama, -anybody, please, take him!). Ollie is the only convicted-felon-reporter in the world. He is renowned for his lies, betrayals, and treason. His lies are MacWhoppers, and make him best suited for FOX "news". He lied under oath -to Congress, lied to the American hostages in Iran (and cut a deal to keep them there for 4 extra months), lied to their families, and lied to ALL the rest of the American people. As a soldier, he illegally sold Stinger missiles to Ayatollah Khomeini, used some of the money to buy boatloads of silk stockings (makes you wonder about his "Marine-ness" doesn't it?). And Ollie used the rest of that money to slaughter Catholics in Central America, -over 300,000 of them. Some hero. Perfect for FOX news. A recent story has Ollie stating "under oath" to Congress (whether to Congress, the Marines, -or God, Ollie's oath is worthless). He stated that he was afraid of Osama Bin Ladin, and the implication is that he was clairvoyant. The truth however, is that Osama was then working FOR the CIA, enlisted against the Soviets. Ollie screwed Osama, too, ripped off his funding (probably to buy more panty hose fetish objects). So instead of thanking Ollie for warning us (yet doing nothing about it), you should thank Ollie for the WTC and 911. It would have never happened if Ollie hadn't betrayed Osama back in the 1980s. Osama was always crazy, but until he met Ollie, he wasn't paranoid. Ollie pushed the freak over the edge (which is why Ollie shits his pants every time someone mentions Osama's name). Then, there's Geraldo Rivera. Tossed out of Iraq for giving the enemy U.S. troop movements on camera. Calling glitz-huckster Geraldo a "reporter" is about like calling P.T. Barnum a "journalist". Last and least worth mention is the rude, vindictive, uneducated egotist, Bill O'Reilly. Bill's talk show is a crude synthesis of Phil Donahue, Rush Limbaugh, and Rudolf Hess. Merely the puppet-spokesman for Rupert's kinky fascist-racist politics, Bill is renowned for abusing his invited guests in a way that makes Edward R. Murrow turn in his grave. The "No-Spin Zone" is just a hate-soapbox for the self-appointed O'Reilly to yell and scream at whoever is left for him to invite on his abusive stage. The rest of FOX staff is filled with similarly-flawed deviates, but less distinct for their moral misdeeds than their intellectual mediocrity and inexperience -in everything. Give FOX long enough to de-brief (scramble and fry) American and British minds, and the FOX Jesus-freaks will be executing women in football stadiums -for Taliban sins like applying for a job -or reading books. To get CNN or BBC, even a Romanian cable TV company has to pay a fee to carry the signal. But FOX gives its satellite feed away, gratis, to anyone dumb and hateful enough to want it. Bottom line: Even at that price (free), it is Grand Larceny.
All cartoon files are © copyrighted with USCO and may not be reproduced or used off line in any form . 
If you enjoy my George Bush Junior "Just say No" animation, please feel free to copy it, and add it to your website. It is the only image made by www.schloss.ro that is FREE to use, -anywhere you choose! You may publish it on your personal or commercial website, publicity CDs, or send it to your friends. Just let me know where you plan to use it, and I will send you an unlimited copyright release. If you look closely, you will see a candid photo of George aboard the Texas Rangers plane, smoking his marijuana bong! No kidding. George Junior is a massive marijuana-party-er and spent years blowing his Texas weed. That is how he got so "smart". LOL (hint: Click on any non-link area of the page with your mouse. In most browsers, this freezes the animation sequences and allows you to look "between the frames") This is an actual photo of George smoking marijuana. Could I say that if it were not true? Wouldn't the president sue me for slander? Of course! So face it, he wasn't born this dumb, he smoked and drank himself in excess, to an "inebriated, brain-cell depleted state of ignorant bliss". If you want the full size picture, e-mail me and I will send you a copy, free.
 . . take another bite of the apple to return to SchlosStudios. |
Spin the URL wheel-of-fortune and hurl me into another www.dimension....like, wanna see how fast your name, address, and cc numbers can be sucked out of your computer? Think you have a secure firewall? Ok Icarus! . . click here and you will join the Bill Gates database. . .you'll hear the giant sucking sound as your personal files are yanked. Have your Melissa and Magistr Worm Prezervative ready? What do you want to lose today?
or as a more positive alternative, Click Here to see the fastest and most advanced desktop computers on this planet.
Click Here to see my favorite Native American Proverb.
"Life is a State of Mind" -Jerzy Kosinski, "Being There". Read it! It is all about George Bush Jr. and Ronald Reagan; two of the dumbest corksoakers to ever sit in an oval office!
